My Imrama, my moving soul journey part 3 | Clearing the stagnant energy at your new home

Getting the key was not the end of my soul journey. I thought once I got the key, I just needed to get on with all the practicalities of moving. At that point, we have secured a temporary accommodation as the delayed transaction meant that the renovation schedule was affected as well. However, I could not shake the feeling of having made the wrong choice

I was deeply concerned with the energy of the property. Buying and selling a house is an energy exchange and I know that the exchange has not been the most pleasant and it would require a lot of energetic work to cleanse the residual energy left by the seller.
I thought of reaching out, to explain the reasons that we needed the transaction to take place at the agreed time. I wanted to express that it was not our intention to bring them inconvenience. 

Since finding out about the pregnancy, I’ve enlisted the help of a dog walker as I wanted to prepare my beloved dog, Hendrick, for the baby’s arrival. Shortly after the transaction, I arranged for the dog walker to pick up Hendrick at our new place and we found out that the dog he’s walking used to live here. The beautiful spaniel that’s sniffing in our garden used to live here.

When I saw my Hendrick saying hi to the beautiful spaniel in our garden, I felt a surge of emotions. It could not be a pure coincidence, could it? It meant that I had a way to reach out to the sellers.

The obstacles over the transaction were extremely stressful to me and I knew that the sellers experienced the stress and uncertainties as well, albeit in a different way. I felt that in order for me to clear some of the negative residual energies trapped in the property, I needed to reach out, as peace offering and showing gratitude.

A property holds an immense amount of energies and vibrations and would affect those living in it.

I’m always a firm believer of maintaining a friendly relationship with previous or future inhabitants of our homes as a healthy relationship between the two parties would create a positive frequency that’d stay in the property. 

my boy Hendrick - I feel like he could also feel the energy of the home and has taken a long time than I expected to feel settled!

I thought that’s my chance to clear all misunderstandings. I remembered the seller mentioning that they are fond of cooking during the viewing so I decided to get them a food voucher from a deli. I was wondering between two amount and then decided to go for the higher one. I thought that’d be a good token to show my gratitude as well as my apology - after all, they probably wanted the transaction to be delayed till their own purchase was sorted.

Although I have been very careful with our financial outgoings as both renovation and newborns are both extremely costly, I thought that by gifting the seller the voucher would help with our settling in the new home, hence it’d be worth it.

I thought it’d be worth it. 

The same night my husband discovered the seller’s Instagram account (because the seller and we both follow our dog walker!)  and I was shocked to see how much we are hated. I was right - the hostile energy is clearly present. In fact, it’s a lot more than I originally expected.

I could not believe the words I saw, in a way it confirmed my original suspicion - the post’s caption and comments mentioned that the sellers left the property in a filthy state on purpose as she believed that’s how our souls are. She wrote that she disconnected the doorbell and removed the oven shelves on purpose.

I was devastated, angry and felt majorly stupid for spending money on someone who hated me so much. I simply could not process how much I was hated and disgusted. When I was talking to a tradesman in my upcoming home, I felt utterly defeated, stupid, and hated…I wasn’t sure how I could possibly make the property a loving and nurturing home for my growing baby when the seller put so much hate into us?

I prayed for guidance. I prayed for concrete actions to clear the negative energy. I prayed for ways to turn a place with hatred to a nurturing soul space.

I was then seeing the number 100 a lot….and then I decided to burn incense for 100 days in a row.

I also dived into my own akashic records for guidance, subsequently then dived into the property’s akashic records to clear the negative energy. It was so heavy and I found out from the records that part of the heaviness was contributed by my stress and fear.

I was called to commit to spiritual practice to clear the air, energetically. 

I dived into my spiritual toolkits and looked at what could help me. I consulted oracle cards daily and committed to doing a forgiveness meditation for a week. I turned to Kuan Yin, the goddess of compassion and forgiveness for healing and guidance. I used ho’oponoopono as well as Tibetan singing bowl daily..

I found so much comfort, healing and guidance through all these spiritual practices and that’s when I realised all of these happened for a reason. It’s happening so that I could perfect my craft as a soul space creator. I’ve never ever needed so much time and effort to cleanse the space…and it’s all worth it. 

After 1-2 months of a lot of energy and spiritual works, coupled with the newly designed home as well as Feng Shui activation, I felt fully settled in my new home and I’ve felt a sense of calm that I haven’t felt for ages.

I felt inspired to launch new services that I’m so passionate about. I was able to attract financial abundance that surprised me. Most importantly, I felt I have developed and created a safe, nurturing space to support my pregnancy and my future child. I knew deeply that it wouldn’t be a forever home, but it is exactly where I need to be right now.

 This moving soul journey, with all its excitements, obstacles, stresses all happened for divine reasons…

Every single part of this journey has equipped me to be a better mother, each obstacle was a lesson for me to realign with my soul’s truest callings…and the whole experience was designed cosmically so that I can become a more all-rounded soul space creator so that I can support women on similar transformational journeys, so that I could hold space for others

It's exactly where I need to be right now...

Imrama

4 months after I moved in I’m finally able to share my journey wholeheartedly, and when I’m typing out all these 3 blogs I felt a sense of ease and release, I believed this is the final part of moving journey - to share my voice.

I can’t wait to hear all your exciting moving stories! If you need a soul companion or feel called to share, click the button below, I’d love to know everything :)

My Imrama, my moving soul journey part 2 | Obstacles are instrumental to soul growth

In my last blog, I’ve mentioned how devastated I was when I received the phone call that I would not be able to get the key to my new home in another area in Edinburgh, just the working day before the transaction was due to take place. That weekend was long, emotional, filled with doubts and question marks as I was unsure about my next steps. 

I remembered looking at my more than half-packed home, unable to make sense of what’s happened. Tradesmen were organised, moving company arranged, furniture was supposed to deliver the few days after I got the key….none of this would now take place.

I was supposed to move into my new home a few weeks before Christmas, so that I would be able to fully embrace the much-need seasonal spirits which were so needed after lockdown and the moving stress. I was supposed to move into my new aligned home and started creating the nursery of my child whom I was struggling to connect with.

I needed a home to settle so that I could have space, both physically and mentally, to experience my pregnancy wholeheartedly. I needed somewhere safe so that I could begin to figure out the kind of mother I wanted to be.

The wait was agonising and on the day I was supposed to get the key, more uncertainty arose. All I was told was that a council virtual inspection was organised at the property the seller was purchasing and it would further affect the transaction date. There wasn’t any update on when the title deeds, which seemed to be the cause of the delay, would arrive in Edinburgh.

To put it simply, there’s no certainty of the date that I could move in. All I could do was just wait.

On Monday after I talked to the solicitor, I called the tradesman and furniture companies one by one, rearranging, apologising -  each call seemed to be a vivid reminder of how little control I had, each apology seemed to intensify how uncertain everything was.

The most pressing matter was to find an alternative accommodation, and also came up with a storage solution as we could not change our moving-out date. The most challenging thing was that we didn’t know how long we needed the temporary accommodation for.

It was as if I had no choice and no anchor to my own life.

I felt like I was acting on survival mode; making decisions that seemed to bring convenience and ease for the short term. I was hollow inside on that few days.

I needed an anchor, I needed to take control of the situation.

And then it dawned on me…I could pull out from the transaction because there’s nothing that’s legally bounded that’s why I needed to spend money from my own pocket to sort all the alternative arrangements. I was not protected legally. There was not a binding contract and that’s why even the seller was not fulfilling his side of the agreement, he does not have any legal responsibilities for the damages it brought me.

I felt so vulnerable. 

I don’t think I have ever prayed so much in my life. Equally I don’t think I’ve ever questioned my faith and spirituality so much since I began my spiritual journey around 8 years ago.
I prayed for guidance and the guidance was always “healing” “fall into my arms” “trust”; 

I didn’t get it at all, I was going to be homeless soon, how could I not take actions? How could I rest when things are affecting every single cell of mine?

When you think you’ve surrendered, you surrender more

I started to wonder if I was holding on to this transaction too tight and trying to control every single aspects of the move without allowing the Universe to work its wonders. I started to wonder whether that’s a wake up call for me to loosen my grip, in my work, in my pregnancy, in my home…I always felt that I need everything to work on perfectly according to plan so that I could really shine my light as a soul space creator; I needed to show the world that I could create aligned spaces beautifully effortlessly - and this disruption of my own immediate space just did not sit well.

When you think you've surrendered, you surrender more

Gabby Bernstein

I felt like if I couldn’t even control my own home, I could not show up as a soul space creator. I could not preach what I taught.

I’ve equated my identity to someone who constantly has an aligned, beautiful, soulful home

I have subconsciously created an image of the perfect soul space creator, who created space without obstacles, who moved from home to home effortlessly.

But that’s just an unattainable image I’ve created…it’s like those models with a perfect figure showing off their latest acquisition in 5 stars hotels.

It was just an image.

But I was so much more; I’m a multifaceted soul, I encounter obstacles and rise beautifully, I am a soul that’s experiencing humanness.That’s what I thought. It is all set. I just needed to go through with it..

And this experience is a lesson from the universe. It’s for my growth - although I couldn’t fathom what the purpose was. It was meant to happen 

This realisation changed everything

I began to let go.

I began to see the obstacles happened because I need to grow, I needed to make changes to my life in preparation of motherhood as well as to better work my light as a soul space creator. 

I was talking to my dear friend Tania from museflowerretreat. She has completely shifted my perspective; instead of seeing it as an obstacle, see it as a protection. When there’s rejection, it’s usually a protection.

When you think you have surrendered, you surrender more

I was so fixated on this single property that I didn’t let wonders happen. I was so concentrated on making the move an easy one I forgot that surprises are here to teach us lessons.

I was ready to let the property go. I was ready to just stay in the temporary Airbnb during this soul journey, even I don’t know when a more permanent abode would come

I meditated a lot over that weekend and the two days; finally, a clear answer surfaced. 

Loosen your grip and trust. Trust it’s the correct property but do not be 100% fixated on it.

Love it but also let go of it.

I knew that what I needed is clarity instead of having no answer and no date. I would rather let go of the property than being held hostage in this endless chain. 

I love it but I was ready to let it go. At the same time, I trusted that Universe has my back, that the Universe would provide me exactly what I need, what my family needs

I told the solicitor that I would let this property go if the transaction cannot be done on Friday that week. I needed to free myself from the endless doubts and uncertainties

Then I decided to let it go and surrender; whatever the outcome it was.

And I began to look for properties again on right move and espc

The realisation completely shifted my frequency and I felt a lot lighter. I no longer felt like I was another victim of the property chain but I was someone who made inspired and soulful actions that might be contrary to the original plan.

I was nervous, not knowing how long our temporary living situation was going to be. But I trusted.

And then the Universe responded that the seller accepted to make the transaction on Friday. 

While I was excited and ecstatic about having clarity in my moving situation, part of me felt something was off. It was as if I could feel the seller’s overwhelming anger…

And I was right. On the day of the transaction, I walked past the property with my dog at around noon and saw the sellers loading their belongings onto the van and there seemed to be a lot more in the flat. I felt something was off; from my experience, the property would be more or less empty by noon to facilitate key drop-off and pick-up. I was panicking as I let my anxiety and fear mind overrode my trust in the universe; just a week ago I was told that the transaction needs to be delayed, and looking at the less-than-ready state of the property meant that I was nervous about the transaction would not take place.

I called my solicitor nervously and was told that I’d be able to get the key at 4:30pm. 4:30pm came and it wasn’t dropped off at the estate agent. I waited patiently and finally received a phone call at 5 and frantically drove to the estate agent. I almost could not believe that the key was finally on my hand.

I stood at the entrance of the property and already felt an unbearable heaviness.

Entering the flat, the property felt stuck, antagonistic and hostile. 

As someone who’s so sensitive to surroundings and environment, it contained a lot more hostility than I originally envisioned,

and all I wanted to do was leave.

I almost wished I could have chosen a different one. However, I remembered that Universe always only gives you what you can handle….so I understood that it’s another lesson to learn….

And that’s perfecting my skills in energetically space clearing and something that I’ve been struggling for years..

Patience. 

Celebrating Celtic Festival Beltane at your home

It’s only after I relocated to Edinburgh that I began to appreciate the Celtic wheel of the year. After some research, I find that a lot of the dates or important festivals seem to coincide with the Chinese lunar calendar. Although different rituals are adopted and practised by the two different cultures, I love how both the Chinese lunar calendar and the Celtic wheel of the year pay tribute and respect to the wonders of mother earth.

The beauty of Beltane lies in the fact that it celebrates and honours life. It is the last of the three pagan fertility festivals (after Imbolc and Ostara) and lies on May 1. It’s believed that the veil between the human world and the spirit world grows thin so it’s a wonderful time for us to connect to our spiritualities.

Beltane Fire Festival takes place in Calton Hill, Edinburgh every year. This photo is taken from Beltane Fire Society’s official facebook

My first experience of Beltane was the Beltane Fire Festival in Calton Hill, Edinburgh. While it’s become more of a cultural event, I love that it still incorporates myth and symbolism associated with Beltane, such as May Queen and Green Man. Being so close to fire makes me feel protected and also connected to the sensual spirits. Although covid means that the Beltane fire festival is not returning physically this year, there are still many ways we can celebrate this beautiful festival at home

Start a bonfire

Beltane means Bel’s fire. Fire is traditionally used on the day as a purifier and healer. Bonfires were lit using different types of wood, when the fire was blazing, its ashes, smokes and flames were believed to have protective power where people then take it back to their home to ensure fertility and harvesting throughout the summer months.

It’s a symbolic move to remove the residues of winter and cleansed the time we spent indoors in the dark months - that’s why I feel this year the fire has an additional significance. We’re all ready to enter a new normal after a few months of lockdown and spending time inside. I also see the fire as a welcoming of the sun and newness.

Fear not if you do not have a garden or a fire pit, even lighting a candle with the intention of purifying would be a good way to harness the energy of Beltane

Place flowers everywhere

I’m a big flowers lover and I’d love any excuse to buy and decorate my home with flowers. In Feng Shui, flowers always symbolise new and fresh energy so I’ve always had flowers in my living room. Beltane is about celebrating and honouring our interconnection with mother earth, so instead of just having one bouquet at home, we can put cut flowers in different rooms in our home - even just some petals on your bed to celebrate sensuality! 

Spring flowers such as cous cous, tulips, dandelions are especially connected to the spirit of Beltane as they are blossoming during the period, however, use any flowers that appeal to you. Even just flowers you pick in a park. 

If you’re feeling creative and crafty, you can always make a flower crown and wear it! 

Celebrating your love with your loved ones

Beltane celebrates the union of goddess and god so have always been a popular time for pagan weddings. Since union and connection are important themes in Beltane, why not use this time to honour your relationship with your loved one? It can be so easy to forget how blessed we are when we always have our significant others by our sides, so it’s a good opportunity to express our love to each other.

One thing you can try to do is handfasting - it’s a ritual that involves tying the hands together (ie. tying the knots) using a ribbon. This symbolises the union of the two people. It could be a lovely little ritual to do with your loved one. While you’re using the ribbons to tie the knot, you could either renew your vows or recite writings that are meaningful to the two of you.

If you are not currently in a romantic but is desiring one, you can harness the potent energy of Beltane to manifest your ideal relationship. Take some time to reflect on how you want to feel when you are in a relationship, and you can write it down in a letter as a prayer. If you are familiar with your kua number, you can also put this paper in your relationship corner to double charge your manifestation power

Handfasting ceremonies is sometimes seen as an alternative to traditional weddings - it’s all about celebrating love and union. Photo taken from Keli Tomlin Ceremonies

Do a visualisation exercise

Beltane is all about revitalisation and envisioning good fortune, union and abundance. With the fire purifying any unwanted energy, it’s a good day to visualise future and imagine the future you. If you are thinking of moving, why not use this time to visualise where you want to move to?  How you want to feel in your new home? How do you want your space to support you?

When you visualise, you materialise.

Denis Waitley

If you are feeling uninspired with your current circumstances or current home, visualise a future where you feel fulfilled, uplifted. Observe how you feel during your visualisation and see if you can cultivate the same frequency at your home - perhaps you need to do a more in-depth space clearing? Or perhaps you would like to Feng Shui your home so that your home can support all your endeavours?

It’s my passion to support women in creating soul-aligned spaces and I feel that Beltane is such an auspicious and beautiful time to manifest a truly soulful space. If you would like some support in this transformational journey, send me a message and let’s chat

My Imrama, my moving soul journey part 1 | The unexpected challenges

The word Imrama means journey of the soul and all my moving experiences have taught me that moving indeed a soul journey - when a lot of the time you don’t know the destination; when you decided to move, or when circumstances propel you to move, you aren’t sure where your future home is, you aren’t sure what new experiences are waiting for you. To me, that’s an imrama, and all soul journeys are meant to bring you back to alignment with your soul

Last time circumstances caused me to move as the landlord needed the return of the property. We were ready to purchase, I knew from my experience it’ll be a transformative journey for my family, little did I know of the depth of transformation. 

Soul journeys are meant to bring you back to alignment with your soul

With my experience in Feng Shui, space clearing as well as my regular spiritual practice, I have completed the soulful steps before property hunt and I’ve also employed variety of tools to make sure the property we selected is soul-aligned. I thought that since I’ve made sure all steps and decisions I’ve done is soul-led, that’s my spiritual tasks done.

I couldn’t be more wrong. The Universe wanted me to go through challenges. The universe wanted me to completely transform

Around 3 weeks after the offer was placed, I discovered my pregnancy.

It is a planned one but it came a lot earlier than we expected. Because of my poor health in my early 20s, I was always under the impression that it’d be extremely hard for me to conceive. The Universe pleasantly surprised me but equally, I was unprepared, physically and mentally. I was shocked, scared, confused. 

The first trimester meant I’m confronted with a new set of physical discomforts from new medications, nicotine withdrawal, the usual hormonal changes that came with pregnancy. However, all these physical symptoms are nothing compared to the chatters in my mind - I felt my world was turned upside down, I felt I was thrown into a giant rabbit hole, exploring a Newfoundland on my own. I was lost. 

I didn’t understand why both pregnancy, and moving, two big transformations come at the same time. With my history of bipolar disorder, to say I was worried about my mental state was an understatement. 

I started to doubt if the selected property is the correct one, knowing that the neighbourhood might not be optimal for young families. I was also concerned the property might not have enough space for a baby - the second bedroom was meant for a multi-functional guest room/office when I first made the offer. I looked at my initial layout plan and moodboard and found a lot of decisions need to be changed…to cater for the child inside me. 

The things that appealed to me about the property suddenly become questionable; I loved the big windows when I was viewing, but suddenly I was worried about privacy. I loved the G/F main door flat with a small garden at first, and then I found out it crippled me with worries about my family’s safety.

I doubted the decision tremendously. I doubted the vivid guidance I received. I was questioning whether I let my emotions cloud my judgment..

I was worried that if I selected the wrong property, I would not be a good mother.

It’s simply because I knew how important space is for someone’s growth, and that’s precisely the reason I was crippled with anxieties of making the wrong decision.

What kept me going was my realism - the offer was made, we needed to move out of our property. Really nothing could be done. 

That’s what I thought. It is all set. I just needed to go through with it..

And then this deep knowingness allowed me to take a step back and trust the universe; and learnt to manage my anxieties and stress.

When I experienced the lawsuit for my business’ name, I kept pulling the card Imrama from Rebecca Campbell’s deck and that’s when I decided on Imrama Space as a new trading name. This card hasn’t shown itself to me for awhile, until I found out about the pregnancy in the middle of my moving journey.

The card Imrama only confirmed to me that moving is a soul journey - a journey where you don’t even know what you experience, where you’ll go. Or  in my case, when I started my moving journey, I only thought it’d start a new chapter in the way I approached my business, who would have thought it’d be the beginning of motherhood? 

When we sowed the seed of moving, we are sending a signal to the universe that we are saying good bye to a chapter in our lives. Our body and mind are vibrating at a frequency where new happenings will reciprocate, whether you expect it or not. 

Oh, but in my case, the first trimester wasn’t the only challenge..Compared to what I was told over the telephone on November 13, 2020 (Oh I know it’s a black friday!) the nauseas, mood swings were nothing! 

I thought I wasn’t ready for more challenges and obstacles, but the Universe decided to test me. The last working day before the transaction was due to take place, I received this phone call from my solicitor at 4:30

“I am really sorry, but a title deeds of upper chain is trapped at Israel and I’m afraid you are not getting the key on coming Monday”

“So when will I be able to get the key? We’ve given the notice to our landlord?”

“I’m afraid I don’t have any more information right now. Im so sorry”

Are you fucking kidding me?

Just one day ago before this phone call I was pulling teeth at HSBC as they refused to transfer the money from my account to the solicitor’s account as I didn’t have a ID with my married name. Even though I have brought with me my wedding certificate, my ID and I explained that I was told by my immigration solicitor to not change the surname on my ID until I received my visa, the staff simply would not help.

I was on the phone with bureaucratic bank for the whole day while struggling with nauseas. I was so certain that was the final straw and everything would be fine afterwards.

Oh, but no, there’s this - you are not getting the key and I don’t know when you can get the key.

This sentence was repeating in my mind like a negative mantra trying to hypnotise me to the darkest place in my heart and forced me to swim in sea of tears. 

What do you want now? How many more things do you want me to go through?

I remembered I was screaming at my half packed home - where am I going to stay now? What should I do?

I was craving for a cigarette to calm my nerves but I couldn’t - I now have another human being to take care of.

I questioned my guidance and my faith. I questioned my spirituality.

I’ve followed it so obediently the whole time ; I persisted even though there’s a building warrant issue with the selected property, I decided to move forward with the purchase even though my child might need more space. I tried my best to convince my husband even he wasn’t as certain as me about the offer

And now you’re telling me my persistence was worth nothing? And that I needed to go through more?

I was more than furious. I was lost. I was devastated. 

That morning I pulled the card called Crumbling -  my intuition was telling me something’s off that Friday, something might happen, but I didn’t know it’s this - I didn’t know it’d be a complete disruption of my renovations plan and the possibility of becoming homeless. 

But It’s a soul journey isn’t it?…and my soul knows better. I’ll share part 2 of my soul journey next time 

Moving is a soul journey.

a journey where you don't even know what you experience, where you'll go, but know that it takes you to an alignment with your soul