As an interior stylist, you’d think that my home would be perfect; the right colour, the right combination of textures, the impeccable flow of energy. Sometimes when I scroll aimlessly on instagram, I’m amazed at how perfect other interior designers’ homes are. Whether they are in Edinburgh, in Dublin, in the state, these interior designers seem to have the perfect home. Everything is just spot on. The correct wallpaper, the carefully curated storage solutions, put it simply, it’s just together.
My dear interior designer fellow told me “Comparison is the thief of Joy” It can’t be more right. The whole time since I decided to work solo as an interior designer, I’ve tortured myself on an endless journey of comparison, and ultimately suffocating myself with a massive heaviness of inferiority.
Part of the reasons is I just couldn’t seem to take a good picture of my home to post on social media. I would not dare to use the hashtag #myperfecthome when I put the pictures on. Firstly, I rent so there’s a lot of limitation I need to work around with when I designed my home. Secondly, I moved into my husband’s bachelor pad after we got married, and in a crazily short timeframe. So I wouldn’t say it’s a well thought through interiors.
Does it mean that I’m not a good soul space creator? No. It simply means that I didn’t execute this project in the same manner I usually would. When I worked on my client’s project, I tended to put way more effort, from mood board curation, to floor plan planning, etc.
Yeah…so I have not been putting up pictures of my home. One huge thing that bothers me is the wood chip wallpaper.
I mean, wood chip wallpaper. Yup. No single interior designer would live in a flat with wood chip wallpaper.
But, do I love my home? Oh yes, wholeheartedly. And I know that staying here is the best for my family right now.
And today while I was chatting with a reader of my blog, I came to realise that our home can teach us a big soul lesson: Acceptance.
Finally, today, after moving in for more than half a year, I’ve accepted the wood chip wallpaper that has bothered me. And indeed I’m so grateful for it; because it has taught me a valuable lesson both as a soul led entrepreneur but also an interior designer. Sometimes, we just need to accept. Without acceptance, we could not live a soulful life, we will always struggle to feel safe, balanced, peaceful.
Comparison is the thief of Joy
I’ve spent some time today reflecting on this wood chip wallpaper; its awkward texture, its sneaky look that is just on your face all the time. I wondered why on earth it would be popular in the 1980s. I can’t see how it can be beautiful, I just can’t. But instead of constantly telling myself that my home is not instagrammable because of the wood chip wallpaper, I should just accept that this wood chip wallpaper is a component of my home, but it does not define my whole home, my aesthetic sense, my value and identity as a soul space creator.
So here it is, my bedroom with wood chip wallpaper. Colour painted in French Gray from Farrow & Ball. Bed from John Lewis.
Actually, when I tell this wood chip wallpaper, “hey you, I know you’re here to stay. I know I won’t be able to change it. I accept you” I feel an immense sense of relief. As if I’ve begun a new relationship with my home, and with myself. I felt that I’m way more connected, and I suddenly find that my vases and books with the wood chip wallpaper at the back can actually be quite interesting.
More importantly, I feel much more at peace with my home. I’m just not bothered with it. I love my home. There’s no more holding back.
And yes, once I decide to accept it, I’m posting the picture here, and my Instagram. Acceptance gets you to the next step in your life at your home. Trust me, when you accept the imperfection at your home, the energy instantly shifts, and your home would become a stronger shelter for you.
So, please completely remove the idea that there’s a perfect home, perfect interiors or perfect feng shui. PERFECTION JUST DOES NOT EXIST. Accept what you can’t change, and you’ll find the inner peace that we so need, and I would love to see you have a healthy, beautiful relationship with your surroundings.
