Using your home to support you when you are anxious

As an high sensitive empath, I tend to feel a lot - (I guess that makes me a good interior designer and soul space creator?) . Sometimes the feeling is so strong and so overpowering I feel my whole body is paralysed. 

After diagnosed with bipolar disorder, I have become in touch with all my emotions. Sometimes I hate it, thinking why some kind of emotions can cause me so much heartache, pain and ultimately make me unable to function like a normal human being. However the awareness and then acceptance of these feelings mean that I’m able to employ different methods to feel grounded and safe.

Today is one of the day that my anxieties engulf me. My dear dog is going to have his neutering surgery. I have given him preparation, stroking his hair and ensuring that everything is fine. He gives me a cute looking face, wondering where he’s going and what unknowing disastrous act will be done to him.

Hendrick definitely knows something’s going on this morning…

What I forgot to do is to give myself the same amount of preparation. As you might know, I spend all my time with my dog and Hendrick has become my greatest supporter and companion since I got him last year. My logical mind tell me the neutering is a safe procedure, but my heart is unbelievably anxious.

After sending him to the clinic, I walked home in the rainy weather and knew in 100% certainty that today I needed to be gentle to myself, and fall into the arms of my supportive home.

Open the window 

First thing I did when I got home is to open the window for awhile. Despite the cold weather outside, letting fresh air in helps me to be grounded, know that the air element of the Universe is here with me. If you have a garden, I encourage you to stay in your garden for a wee while to feel the nourishing energy your healing space offers

Sense of smell

A lot of us have underestimated the power of scent. Essential oil is a great way to calm our nerves. Lavender is my go-to as it’s non-toxic to pets and also just smell divine! 

Another thing to reach out for healing is to use incense at your home. Incense is traditionally used as a way to connect to the higher spirits; when you’re in a state of unshakable anxieties and feel like it’s beyond your control, it’s a good idea just to connect with some healing energies from the divine

Calming lighting and colour

 Generally I’m prone to anxieties because of my history of mental illness, so I’ve opted for calming colour like green and pale blue in my home. However, when I’m in a state of heightened emotions, I need everything to be as calming as possible, so I’d turn off all spotlights at home. I’d go for some warm and soothing light just to create an atmosphere that I can relax

Shift your own energy 

There are a couple of ways you can instantly shift your energy. The first is moving 27 things in your home. It can simply be placing things in a drawer, throwing a paper, moving the candle from your bedside table to your bookshelf. When you’re shifting these 27 things, concentrate on the act of lifting an object up, and moving it. Meanwhile breathing slowly. Have a go and see if it’ll make you feel better?

Move 27 things to shift your energy

Otherwise you can easily shift your energy with meditation. I’ve just done an amazing one with my soul bliss retreat group. Or if you feel your home is not supportive or nourishing enough, try the free alpha-waves boosted meditation I’ve created for you

The bottom line is we all have some days that we’re anxious and you can feel like there’s nothing can be done. We just need to accept that it’s one of those days and trust that this too shall pass. When I finish writing this blog, I feel that by voicing it out heals me as well, and of course wrapping myself in a comfy blanket helps. I’d love to know what other tools you employ when you’re anxious? Or are you an empath like me?

If you want to get more tips in having a nourishing home, click the button below!

My home teaches my something surprising: Acceptance

As an interior stylist, you’d think that my home would be perfect; the right colour, the right combination of textures, the impeccable flow of energy. Sometimes when I scroll aimlessly on instagram, I’m amazed at how perfect other interior designers’ homes are. Whether they are in Edinburgh, in Dublin, in the state, these interior designers seem to have the perfect home. Everything is just spot on. The correct wallpaper, the carefully curated storage solutions, put it simply, it’s just together.

My dear interior designer fellow told me “Comparison is the thief of Joy” It can’t be more right. The whole time since I decided to work solo as an interior designer, I’ve tortured myself on an endless journey of comparison, and ultimately suffocating myself with a massive heaviness of inferiority.

Part of the reasons is I just couldn’t seem to take a good picture of my home to post on social media. I would not dare to use the hashtag #myperfecthome when I put the pictures on. Firstly, I rent so there’s a lot of limitation I need to work around with when I designed my home. Secondly, I moved into my husband’s bachelor pad after we got married, and in a crazily short timeframe. So I wouldn’t say it’s a well thought through interiors.

Does it mean that I’m not a good soul space creator? No. It simply means that I didn’t execute this project in the same manner I usually would. When I worked on my client’s project, I tended to put way more effort, from mood board curation, to floor plan planning, etc.

Yeah…so I have not been putting up pictures of my home. One huge thing that bothers me is the wood chip wallpaper.

I mean, wood chip wallpaper. Yup. No single interior designer would live in a flat with wood chip wallpaper.

But, do I love my home? Oh yes, wholeheartedly. And I know that staying here is the best for my family right now.

And today while I was chatting with a reader of my blog, I came to realise that our home can teach us a big soul lesson: Acceptance.

Finally, today, after moving in for more than half a year, I’ve accepted the wood chip wallpaper that has bothered me. And indeed I’m so grateful for it; because it has taught me a valuable lesson both as a soul led entrepreneur but also an interior designer. Sometimes, we just need to accept. Without acceptance, we could not live a soulful life, we will always struggle to feel safe, balanced, peaceful.

Comparison is the thief of Joy

I’ve spent some time today reflecting on this wood chip wallpaper; its awkward texture, its sneaky look that is just on your face all the time. I wondered why on earth it would be popular in the 1980s. I can’t see how it can be beautiful, I just can’t. But instead of constantly telling myself that my home is not instagrammable because of the wood chip wallpaper, I should just accept that this wood chip wallpaper is a component of my home, but it does not define my whole home, my aesthetic sense, my value and identity as a soul space creator.

So here it is, my bedroom with wood chip wallpaper. Colour painted in French Gray from Farrow & Ball. Bed from John Lewis.

Actually, when I tell this wood chip wallpaper, “hey you, I know you’re here to stay. I know I won’t be able to change it. I accept you” I feel an immense sense of relief. As if I’ve begun a new relationship with my home, and with myself. I felt that I’m way more connected, and I suddenly find that my vases and books with the wood chip wallpaper at the back can actually be quite interesting.

More importantly, I feel much more at peace with my home. I’m just not bothered with it. I love my home. There’s no more holding back.

And yes, once I decide to accept it, I’m posting the picture here, and my Instagram. Acceptance gets you to the next step in your life at your home. Trust me, when you accept the imperfection at your home, the energy instantly shifts, and your home would become a stronger shelter for you.

So, please completely remove the idea that there’s a perfect home, perfect interiors or perfect feng shui. PERFECTION JUST DOES NOT EXIST. Accept what you can’t change, and you’ll find the inner peace that we so need, and I would love to see you have a healthy, beautiful relationship with your surroundings.