As an interior stylist, you’d think that my home would be perfect; the right colour, the right combination of textures, the impeccable flow of energy. Sometimes when I scroll aimlessly on instagram, I’m amazed at how perfect other interior designers’ homes are. Whether they are in Edinburgh, in Dublin, in the state, these interior designers seem to have the perfect home. Everything is just spot on. The correct wallpaper, the carefully curated storage solutions, put it simply, it’s just together.

My dear interior designer fellow told me “Comparison is the thief of Joy” It can’t be more right. The whole time since I decided to work solo as an interior designer, I’ve tortured myself on an endless journey of comparison, and ultimately suffocating myself with a massive heaviness of inferiority.

Part of the reasons is I just couldn’t seem to take a good picture of my home to post on social media. I would not dare to use the hashtag #myperfecthome when I put the pictures on. Firstly, I rent so there’s a lot of limitation I need to work around with when I designed my home. Secondly, I moved into my husband’s bachelor pad after we got married, and in a crazily short timeframe. So I wouldn’t say it’s a well thought through interiors.

Does it mean that I’m not a good soul space creator? No. It simply means that I didn’t execute this project in the same manner I usually would. When I worked on my client’s project, I tended to put way more effort, from mood board curation, to floor plan planning, etc.

Yeah…so I have not been putting up pictures of my home. One huge thing that bothers me is the wood chip wallpaper.

I mean, wood chip wallpaper. Yup. No single interior designer would live in a flat with wood chip wallpaper.

But, do I love my home? Oh yes, wholeheartedly. And I know that staying here is the best for my family right now.

And today while I was chatting with a reader of my blog, I came to realise that our home can teach us a big soul lesson: Acceptance.

Finally, today, after moving in for more than half a year, I’ve accepted the wood chip wallpaper that has bothered me. And indeed I’m so grateful for it; because it has taught me a valuable lesson both as a soul led entrepreneur but also an interior designer. Sometimes, we just need to accept. Without acceptance, we could not live a soulful life, we will always struggle to feel safe, balanced, peaceful.

Comparison is the thief of Joy

I’ve spent some time today reflecting on this wood chip wallpaper; its awkward texture, its sneaky look that is just on your face all the time. I wondered why on earth it would be popular in the 1980s. I can’t see how it can be beautiful, I just can’t. But instead of constantly telling myself that my home is not instagrammable because of the wood chip wallpaper, I should just accept that this wood chip wallpaper is a component of my home, but it does not define my whole home, my aesthetic sense, my value and identity as a soul space creator.

So here it is, my bedroom with wood chip wallpaper. Colour painted in French Gray from Farrow & Ball. Bed from John Lewis.

Actually, when I tell this wood chip wallpaper, “hey you, I know you’re here to stay. I know I won’t be able to change it. I accept you” I feel an immense sense of relief. As if I’ve begun a new relationship with my home, and with myself. I felt that I’m way more connected, and I suddenly find that my vases and books with the wood chip wallpaper at the back can actually be quite interesting.

More importantly, I feel much more at peace with my home. I’m just not bothered with it. I love my home. There’s no more holding back.

And yes, once I decide to accept it, I’m posting the picture here, and my Instagram. Acceptance gets you to the next step in your life at your home. Trust me, when you accept the imperfection at your home, the energy instantly shifts, and your home would become a stronger shelter for you.

So, please completely remove the idea that there’s a perfect home, perfect interiors or perfect feng shui. PERFECTION JUST DOES NOT EXIST. Accept what you can’t change, and you’ll find the inner peace that we so need, and I would love to see you have a healthy, beautiful relationship with your surroundings.

In 2011, that was my rock bottom. I was trying really hard to find out what I’ve done the next few years but I faced major obstacles. Everything was kind of blurry. What I remembered is I jumped from job to job, unable to feel settled in any of them. My life changed in 2014, when I started working for one of the most talented creatives in Hong Kong.

The minute I entered the florist studio which was nestled in a quaint street in a hip neighbourhood in Sheung Wan, Hong Kong.The scent of the beautiful flowers were alluring, absorbing me, inviting me to explore more. Decorative accessories such as figurines, vintage books were carefully put among pots of plants, flowers. I knew that I wanted to work there. The more time I spent working with the creative team, surrounding myself daily with beautiful flowers, creating interior design while facing all kind of obstacles (size, budget, availability, shipping issues) the more at home I feel. And I discovered a missing puzzle of myself. My creativity bloomed. My eyes were opened.

This is such an old photo and it honestly didn’t do Ellermann Flowers credit. They make the most beautiful flowers in the world, and the whole team is super talented and creative

Photo from Ellermann Flowers, always my favourite florist. The team makes the most intriguing table styling, with carefully hand-tied bouquet

Meanwhile, I was still living at home. I longed to move out, be independent, free to do whatever I want. But as you might know, Hong Kong property price was extremely high. As someone who’s never been able to hold down a job, even renting a decent room is purely mission impossible. My parents were caring, but at times they were overprotective, and I just needed some space of my own to breathe. I did not experience that kind of freedom even in my room. Sometimes that leads to conflict, especially after my commute from work to home (crowded underground!) and I just felt the urge to burst out. To avoid conflicts or simply to feel freer, I sometimes just wandered on the street after work instead of resting in my bedroom, which was supposed to be a sanctuary.

In 2015 we decided to renovate our home. We rented somewhere else and I absolutely loved where we rented. The palette is neutral, although some might think it’s clinical. But my bed was right next to the window where I can hear the birds sing in the morning. I was able to sleep well with the blackout curtain. The open plan was spacious with a tiled floor that always cools my fiery spirits. Interestingly I ended up spending more time with my parents, and it was at the living room that I opened up more about myself.

Although I’d love to take a more active role in the overall design of my home, my job and other personal matters consumed all my energies. However, we had an interior designer in who came up with the most suited and cost effective storage solutions. I chose a few furniture in the common areas and my bedrooms, some materials, etc. I wouldn’t say i love the overall design as I haven’t used the design process and it wasn’t my creativity behind. Yes, I would have changed a lot more, but compared to before, the interiors at our home underwent a drastic transformation.

Spent a long time finding the photo of this beautiful norte monde coffee table. It’s always been a focal point

The transformation did not only happen at the physical home,
the way I
connect,
live,
and experience

transformed as well

I started to feel more engaged

The transformation did not only happen at the physical home, the way I connect, live and experience transform as well. Sitting at my vintage desk with a office chair, I was able to journal, connecting with people around the world. Sleeping on a customised wooden bed, I felt much more supported and safe. I love the norte monde coffee table I chose for the living room. The texture and subtle pattern always inspires conversation - and it’s here where we would just have tea or coffee together, slowly shedding our masks and exchanging ideas. Of course there are still heated conversations and occasional fights between my parents and I, but it no longer resulted in huge bangs at the bedroom door or my rushing out of main door.

I signed up for a retreat when I knew I needed a longer break from my day to day life, and afterwards I arrived at Museflower, which I’ll share with you soon

And slowly, I started to feel more engaged in my life. I feel more inspired to learn, to research on different lessons, and slowly embarked on a new journey. After 1 year of the renovations, I settled in my home, wrote an email to Museflower Retreat, and that’s when my recovery took on another level.

I’m not advocating you to spend resources on a internationally renowned international designer, nor interior design is the single way to cure mental illness. There are many mental illnesses, patients respond to the symptoms and treatments differently. What I want to suggest is to switch things in your home, and see if it can offer you a new perspective, to see if surrounding yourself with a soul-led environment could bring positivity and inspiration to you. It helped me a great deal, and I saw that a well-designed home filled with items that connect with people’s soul also helped people to handle the illness in a positive manner.

With the mental awareness week still going on, I’d like to invite you to learn more about mental illness, and how it can impact someone’s lives. At the same time, I’d like us to collectively pray for more kindness, support to each other during challenging times. It really does go a long way.